1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
