either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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