Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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