hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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