Having a random hookup so left but love u
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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