For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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