I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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