someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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