I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
