I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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