Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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