and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
