I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
