No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize