just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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