dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
