i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
