there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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