In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
