He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
