i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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