im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
