i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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