Kiss
Puke
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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