Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
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i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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