I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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