sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
