actually, I'm a sock model
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
