I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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