if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
