Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
