No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
