i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
