I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
