you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
