i just wanna soil my oats bro
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
