I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
