You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
