Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
