No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize