I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
