Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize