Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize