dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize