Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
