have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
