So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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