you guys were way drunker than both of me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
