Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
