He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i out mim tonsoeep
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