The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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