If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
