It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
