evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize