Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
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She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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